365. That's Right.. A Whole Year.

So, Nina has inspired me to get a move on my 365.
I put a lot of thorught into the 365, even though it probably doesn't seem like it.
I've recently blogged about how time is mind-blowing to me. And i thought about it all, and time is in photography. It's that one captured moment of time. And past time and future time is amazing to me. I love holding on to a picture from ten years ago and looking at it now and thinking how it's all changed. I'll give an example! In 2001, my friend and I sat on my front stairs drinking yoo-hoo. I look at it know and think, why did i dye my hair? was i really that short? did i always wear pink? and I look at myself now and wonder how it's changed through the past couple of years.
What I love about doing the 365, is that I can see how I've changed. Going back to time, if i take one picture of myself over a year, it will show what happens in a period of time.
And so, that's my story of 365.

Follow me! It's not updated, but every now and then for the next three hundred and sixty0five days you can drop in and see the changes I've made.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/heyitsashleyy/

Sincerely Yours,
ashleycoppolino

Core Values and Issues in Time

issues:

-communication

-hearing, but not seeing

-voice

-explination

core values:

-color

-emotions

~expression of one's self

-accomplishment

~feeling of being able to move on

~feeling of completion

While doing this activity in class, I had this whole thing going on in my head. I say 'thing' because it was so above and beyond where I began, that I didn't know what to say, which left me speechless.

As for core values, I figured my major core value would be color. Color is so important to me, I’m not exactly sure why color was the first thing to pop in my mind. But then I looked back, and realized that I was amazed by the color theory, and still am! Color has this powerful way to win me over, just the contrast between light and dark, and everything in between in every shade of color, it all just amazes me. Someone pointed out that color might be the reason I like photography so much. Grasping the colors in a photograph could be important to me, and I came to think of it, that color is important to me in photographs. Photography also doesn't have what my issues are. There is no communication in a still life photo. The explination does not have to be communicated, because it is visible. I recently redesigned my room to have every item black and white, with yellow walls. When I thought about color and how it’s important to me, I thought of my room. If everything is black and white, opposite in colors, imagine how the yellow looks. It stands out, and the yellow stands for itself and balances between the black and the white. This whole idea was just mind blowing. It’s like things happen for a reason. I didn’t choose to design my room this way because my favorite color was yellow; I designed it this way because of the theory behind color that completely fascinates me.

One table I was sitting at started a conversation about time. Time has everything in its hands. In order to do something, you need time. Doing a crime, such as killing a person is unlawful because you’re taking someone’s time away. It takes time to grow up and discover your issues. It takes time for each day to pass, and the sun to rise the next morning. You have lived in the past, currently live in the present, and you are going to live in the future, and all three time periods are based upon time! If there was no time, there would be no past, present, or future. What are you without your past or even your present? There would be nothing to learn, nothing to look forward to, nothing to do while trying to pass the time to go into the future! This whole idea of time controlling everything was mind-blowing and I still can’t believe what we spoke about today, it’s just so overwhelming and mind-blowing that I can’t get over it all! Time really had me thinking about what I’m living for. I can’t live for the past, because that time is over, but I could live in the present and live for the future. But if you think about it, how do you measure time? In seconds, minutes, days, years? How do you measure the present time? Time goes by so quickly, that there isn’t even a moment to say you’re living in the present because you are constantly living in the future, and you wouldn’t even know it without time. You can’t even say something like, ‘see you later’ because without time, there would be no ‘earlier’ to compare it to. You wouldn’t be able to say something is quick or takes forever, because you can’t compare the two without having a sense of time. Time also runs along the line of my liking of photography. Photos are a moment frozen in time. There really is not sense of time if it's frozen, but you know it's there because you can't eliminate time. It will always be there, working with you or against you. Do you get it?

I hope that all made sense. If you didn't notice, one of my issues is explination. It's so hard to do, and not explaining makes art so much more intriguing.

I don’t even know how to conclude this blog, it was all just too amazing to not blog about.

sincerely yours,

ashley coppolino

Out With The Old, In With The New

STAC Live!

It was a tough crowd for most of it, not going to lie.

Off-track for one moment...

Well, my New Years resolution was bold optimism. It was to try new things and for me to not be afraid anymore.

I got up optionally to go on stage for the first time in my life. My rosacea probably kicked in, but no one could tell because of those lights.

I kind of liked it. It was weird. I never, never, never would put myself on stage in front of a crowd. But because of my resolution, I did.

My first improv was better than my second, I'm not sure why, but it just happened that way. Actually, that's a lie. I think I do know why it happened like that. I saw one specific person in the crowd during my second improv. Any who, it was all still new to me, so I'm sure if I did it again, I'd get the hang of it, and maybe my rosacea won't be visible during public speaking anymore.

But it was weird, because once I got up there, and the fidgeting stopped, I wasn't nervous and the words flowed out of my mouth very easily. I got compliments from an ex-STACie that I never spoke to in my life before. I got this feeling that I could be invincible. I saw my friends after school, and they were like, "I didn't know you were funny!" and "Who knew Ashley could act!" 'Compliments' like that. They were secretly in the crowd during my first improv, and they even recorded it, that's how funny they thought I was. But I got this weird vibe that they meant a different kind of funny. Like, not laughing about what I was saying, but just laughing at me. So I thought about it all. They've known me for about five years, and didn't know what I was capable of? Really? So, I took what they were saying, and it kind of pissed me off.

I'm going to backtrack a little bit here.

The whole friends situation, ugh. When I forgave them, it still bothered me everyday, and I acted as if it didn't. But I swore to myself to never trust them as I did, because for all of them to turn on me that quick means that they're not true friends.

Guess what happened yesterday. A repeat of the fight, but it's different this time. I won't forgive them. I don't care about them this time.

I know I'm foolish for saying I don't care, because I obviously do, but I don't want to care. That's the thing.

It was through text messages. First of all, text messaging has ruined relationships between people, it has to be a fact. Texts are constantly misunderstood. You can't express your feeling through a text, no matter how many haha's or aw's you include. It just won't happen.

She mentioned, "Actually, it was like you were never my friend after out last fight." I told her, "My acting skills got better since I joined STAC." She was speechless for fifteen minutes. Take note, she isn't a fan of STAC.

But the thing about this specific friend, her texts come out very sarcastic. So when the fighting became intense, I used her sarcastic one-word responses she texts me all the time, and her response was, "you're unbelievable." and my last response to her was, "You just proved my point on how difficult it is to deal with someone like you." And that's it of our friendship. For good.

Quote of the day: "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." -Dorothy Thompson

The girl who won't change for anyone but herself,

ashleycoppolino

Give A Cheer For Another Year ?

If you've been keeping up with my blog, you'd know how my year has been going. I mean, yeah, it's been great, and everyone has their down days, but I didn't know I'd be down for the last month of the year. But it looks like it's all turning around. So, yes, cheers for another year.

I'm pretty sure that everyone has heard about my 'friend' situation.. if not, read my past blogs. If so, continue reading.

It basically started on Christmas, my turning around. I told my parents that i wanted nothing for Christmas, and guess what i got? Nothing. Yeah, my parents took it a little too serious. I bought myself a pair of slippers. Merry Christmas. Well, my mom tried to find me a Snuggie, but apparently it's a 'hot item' this year, ergo, I couldn't get it. My dad, on the other hand, said I shouldn't even get coal. So, the time before Christmas wasn't the happiest time of the year. But Christmas changed it all. My mom has this friend, who has a son a year younger than me. I have always disliked him. I literally used to attack him when I was younger because he used to piss me off. I mean, he still does bother me, but Christmas was different. He acted like a human being, for once, and we laughed like we never have before. We were dying on the floor for the dumbest things, I'm not sure why. So, i ended my Christmas happily, with family and friends. Which has never happened in the years i remember Christmas.

After all that, I was willing to make up with my friends and accept what has happened in the past. My friends aren't perfect, and i don't want them to be. I don't think they understood that. I just want them to get me, but i have learned that no one will get me. I won't ever get me. My answer for the past week has been 'I don't know', and I'm not just saying it in a cute way or whatever, I'm saying it because i really don't know. I don't know how to explain that, but that's what's going on.

This blog is supposed to say how i narrate my life as an artist. And my answer to that is I don't know. Life will take me where it may, and where ever I end up, I will continue to narrate myself.

Hey, life isn't about finding yourself; Life is about creating yourself.

-ashleycoppolino

Hold On Social Studies, I'm Creating History Instead Of Learning It.

In thirty years when I tell my kids about the worst week of my life, this will be the week I'm referring to.

In the past seven days, I have: Lost 2 friends and one is on the fence

Failed a class

Not received a Hanukkah gift from anyone in my family

Not slept over 17 hours, which is like 2 1/2 hours a night.

Not actually broke my finger, but popped it back in place

Broke my computer

Been blamed for unspeakable things

Been made fun of twice to my face, which never happened before in my life

Never felt more alone in my life

I also told my parents I didn't want anything for Christimas, and they took it a little too seriously. There's not one gift with my name on it.

It makes me feel like how I felt all week: immortal.

I'm not talking immortal like Edward Cullen, I wish, but immortal as in I look like a human, but don't feel like one. Being immortal must run along the lines of feeling alone, I guess that's why I like Edward Cullen so much. I guess I relate to him in a way. I don't know if it makes sense, it's one of those things I can't exactly explain. Like, you can't explain being a vampire to a human so easily.. that's my best way of explaining this. I say this, but I don't even know what this is.

But to top off my week, my on the fence friend decides to text me saying, "I'd miss them as friends if I were you though". And i told him "You'd think i'd be missed too." He said "what do you mean?", I didn't answer, because the fact that he doesn't understand that i should be missed as a friend really says a lot about the past three years of my life. And so, that's it from me. I feel like running behind a pile of snow until it melts and see if I'm ready to come out. I probably won't be. Maybe I should be a immortal vampire, I wouldn't have to go out and face this fucked up world, I'd be able to bite people and watch them die.

Don't take this stuff too personally, like I said, I've had a bad week.

I have to get back to my Social Studies essay now.

Goodnight, well, I hope your nights are good, because mine isn't.

-ashleycoppolino

When the truth came out, I just didn't know what to do.

It's been claimed that I have changed since the summer. So I sat back and thought about what changed me. What changed from the summer to now? I figured it was STAC. After the power cookie sale yesturday and listening to people saying "don't buy from them" or "don't support them", it made me build a shield to block out and protect myself from people who don't need to be in my life. We're people just like them. I don't understand why we're judged as a group so much. But what killed me the most is that I'm judged as in indivisual. I was talking with my 'friends' yesturday and they starting dissing STAC, and I stood there defending the class. It made me feel defeated in a way, like the weak one. But in the midst of this disagreement, I started to laugh. I thought about all I know, and what they don't know. I've learned things in STAC that no one else could learn. It killed me when my 'friend' started to call us, specifically me, ridiculous names, and I kindof had to hold back my voice because I couldn't handle it. I say 'friend' because a friend won't bash you to your face, and won't critize what you love. I guess this blog is sort of like a ventilation, but it's also a message that I really do love STAC and if my 'friends' can't accept that, they can't accept me, which is a shame.
I don't have all that many friends. I have two friends that are best friends together, and i just lost one of them. I should be sad that I lost someone very important in my life, but I'm relieved. Like I said about building the shield to protect myself, I did that here. This person can't pass the shield, as long as it's me holding the shield. I believed her when she said we'd be best friends forever. But like they say, the best part of believing is the lie.

-me, ashley

*don't change fr no one. Let it happen on its own. You'll figure everything you nee to know out.

I don't really see it as a date movie..

Let The Right One In!

-Every time a person stood at the doorstep, the words, "let the right one in" babbled in my head.

I'm going to start off by saying that it should not be remade my Americans. I just don't think it's be as well put together or thought out.

1. I'm not sure the backstory was handeled, because i didn't think there was much of backstory. The camera showed how the parents were divorced and this young boy wasn't happy.

2. The camera movement was amazing! It was SO well thought out. The dialogue tells a story, but when there was no dialogue, the camera told the story. When the camera moves slow, it builds up tension. I literally would lean forward thinking that something is blocking my view of an important scene, but it was just the tension build up. The brushing the teeth scene was brilliantly made! The camera, once again, was set on a tripod and Oskar and his mother walked back and forward in the view of the lens.

3. When someone was being killed by Eli's father figure, the camera was set on a tripod far back so you could see the people in a full view and you see the setting. The camera created a scenery where you would look at the focus point, but there was action in the background. For example, when Eli climbed the hospital building. We had to play it twice, because some people didn't follow it. The director made it so your eyes have to follow the screen. Brilliant.

4. Other than dialog, you could see the character developing. Oskar and Eli's relationship developed when he gave her the Rubix Cube and she returned it in the snow. That one simple moment, the camera didn't even cut, but Oskar looked at Eli's window then at the Rubix Cube and smiled ,you knew they were going to have a relationship. No dialog. Just a smile said it all.

5. The sound was so unique. You don't see any gory scenes, you hear them. You basically hear people playing around with a mixture of sounds in a studio. But in your mind, you can imagine what happens. Eli and Oskar had a relationship by sound. Not voice, but tapping on the wall, Morse Code, they had a conversation. Another scene, the scene where Oskar is playing with his father, Oskars father goes to put the bottle on the table, and you hear him shove the paper that him and his son were playing on. They way i looked at it, as if I was so close to that paper, that paper being the relationship between father and son, i heard it being pushed, so loud and clear, and it didn't affect the father at all because he continued to pour his glass. This scene hurt me the most. I don't like the feeling of a child being neglected, it shouldn't happen. Oskars one time of happiness is shoved out of the way by alcohol with a friend. Not fair.

8. Plot One was the completion of the Rubix Cube.

9. Plot Two was when Eli was saved by Oskar.

10. I'm not sure if this was a happy ending.. i feel like it shouldn't have been the end.

Im not sure who said it, but someone said that "The really freaky stuff is the human stuff." And it's SO true. The terrifying scenes are just between people-no monsters.