It's been claimed that I have changed since the summer. So I sat back and thought about what changed me. What changed from the summer to now? I figured it was STAC. After the power cookie sale yesturday and listening to people saying "don't buy from them" or "don't support them", it made me build a shield to block out and protect myself from people who don't need to be in my life. We're people just like them. I don't understand why we're judged as a group so much. But what killed me the most is that I'm judged as in indivisual. I was talking with my 'friends' yesturday and they starting dissing STAC, and I stood there defending the class. It made me feel defeated in a way, like the weak one. But in the midst of this disagreement, I started to laugh. I thought about all I know, and what they don't know. I've learned things in STAC that no one else could learn. It killed me when my 'friend' started to call us, specifically me, ridiculous names, and I kindof had to hold back my voice because I couldn't handle it. I say 'friend' because a friend won't bash you to your face, and won't critize what you love. I guess this blog is sort of like a ventilation, but it's also a message that I really do love STAC and if my 'friends' can't accept that, they can't accept me, which is a shame.
I don't have all that many friends. I have two friends that are best friends together, and i just lost one of them. I should be sad that I lost someone very important in my life, but I'm relieved. Like I said about building the shield to protect myself, I did that here. This person can't pass the shield, as long as it's me holding the shield. I believed her when she said we'd be best friends forever. But like they say, the best part of believing is the lie.
-me, ashley
*don't change fr no one. Let it happen on its own. You'll figure everything you nee to know out.
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Often people outside of stac have said that "If you join STAC, you drop all your friends." What seems to happen is "if you join stac your friends drop you." But it doesn't have to happen. THere have been plenty of people who have been friends of STAC.
ReplyDeleteInvite your friend to come into STAC someday for a few periods. Maybe that will open her eyes up.
I've been running STAC for 7 years now, and I have no idea why people who know virtually nothing about the program hate it so much.
Great work, by the way, on the commercial!
L
STAC hate has gone back years and years, and I don't think anyone in the program will ever actually understand it. It's mostly naivety, or someone's older sibling decided to hate STAC and pass it on, or very often jealousy because someone didn't get in to STAC or they wish they could do what they love for three periods a day.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, there are some people outside of STAC who appreciate us. I was in the guidance office the other day and this guy on the football team complimented our STAC art display. It was wild.
I'm sorry you're having a hard time with friends. I can only tell you that you're right about what you said on my blog post, that STAC is there for one another over all even if outsiders are jerks. I'm your friend [:
Two of my best friends and my brother hate STAC. I know there's no way I can change them, so I just acknowledge their feelings and know that I know much more than they do (and probably ever will) about life, thinking, art, and amazing things.
ReplyDeleteAs for losing a friend, I think you've only really lost them if you miss them. I'm not saying you or anyone should drop a friend or two, but I've realized that it can be beneficial and help you realize a lot.
I have a lot of beliefs and I've realized that in life you just have to acknowledge that people have opposing views, try to understand where they're coming from, and remain open minded.
Nina- it's so hard when you can't say anything. Change subject? Or bask in hating something else.
ReplyDeleteLast night I had to defend anime against a girl who decided it's all perverted. At one point she laughed a little because she thought she was right and this argument was for less-than-polite conversation. I can't change her height, but I can be taller.
Not all anime is perverted! What has she been watching?!
ReplyDeleteAshley, I really agree with you on somethings. Personally, my friends are all for me being in STAC. They're really nice about it and I've never heard them say anything was wrong. But if someone is making fun of something you love, then they can't really be your friends, right? I think that if that's the case, maybe they aren't your friends anymore. People change, it's natural. But a true friend would accept these changes. Even though you change, you are still you.
Thanks for defending all of us and yourself. You deserve to be who you really are. If your 'friend' can't handle that, that's his/her problem. Yes, some people are very closed minded when it comes to something unknown to them, but maybe you just need to open their minds a bit.
ReplyDeleteBack on what Luke said, it made me think that STAC live doesn't help people understand what WE do. WE should try to reach out a bit more to what we're all about, and THEY shouldn't have any prejudice against us.
I really wish people would think of how WE feel about them trash talking us, especially to OUR faces. I've had it happen to me, and it's not fun. What if WE were THEM, THEY wouldn't like it either.
I understand how you feel. Two friends of mine talk shit about STAC all the time, calling it a cult. People who trash STAC most likely don't know shit about what goes on there, or they try to find an easy target to pick on, so they pick on something which is different and stands out the most, which is STAC.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel...I remember during the bake sale the reactions we got, and it does hurt, especially when it comes from your own friends, but I feel then you know that THEY aren't your true friends if they don't stand by you for whatever you decide to do (ex. STAC)... but I guess thats what everyone in STAC is for
ReplyDeleteI wanna thank you all for responding. The thing i love about STAC is that whatever you say is listened to by someone. What i say to my 'friends' is heard, but not actually listened to.
ReplyDeletei agree with Leah when she said, "they pick on something which is different and stands out the most, which is STAC." My friends don't get me because what i do is unknown to them. But i don't care, because clearly they're not my friends.