Hey-- i'm still alive!

Sometimes, to realize how far you've come, you have to look back to see where you started. That's how I end up on my blogger.

When I last posted, I was a bit nervous about the interview I had for my second internship. Here I am, months later, finishing that internship. MTV has been a wild experience loaded with highs and lows along with eye opening situations and educational moments.

I still cannot believe the negative state of mind I had when I was graduating. Here I am, three years later, a previous Nickelodeon intern, an MTV intern, and a Tribeca Film Festival crew member. 

If I could have any piece of advice, it would be to always say yes. At times it may be overwhelming and you may be exhausted, lack a social life, be behind on homework, and bust your ass for 80 hours a week, but it will all be worth it. I can assure you that. Always say yes. 

Until next time,

ashleycoppolino

hello, just an update resassuring you that i'm alive and doing well

I don't blog here much at all, but I do come crawling back to my high school online blog when I realize something big or do something big. This time, it's more of just an update on my crazy, happy, funny, busy life.

As a junior in college (and six years after starting this blog) I have found myself in a comfortable position. I currently intern at Nickelodeon! How exciting is that?! It really is. It's a great, great, great internship. Not a day goes by that I don't consider myself one of the luckiest kids (yeah, I'm 20, but I'm still a kid) in the world. I'm treated like a co-worker, not an intern. I don't fetch coffee, excluding that one time I did for Cyma (Nick's president). I have my own desk, go on photo shoots, do red carpet events, see shows before they air, receive presents from networks, and I have fun while doing it. I looked back on my last few blog posts as a senior at Herricks, and I had absolutely no faith in myself. Well, 2012 Ashley, take a look at 2014 Ashley. She's happier than ever.

I have removed some of the closest people in my life because all those years of dealing with other people's nonsense, i didn't have time to create my own. Well, since they're gone, I haven't stopped. And I don't plan to.

I think the real reason I'm writing all this is because I have an interview for my next internship and I'm a tad bit nervous. I also just saw a picture of someone I used to be really good friends with and I realized as she spends endless hours applying makeup, the only thing she has made for herself is a mask. I, on the other hand, made a future.

Well, this brings us to an end. I'll catch up soon!

-Ashley Coppolino

that daily project i did -- completed

Hi,

I'm not really on this site much, but there are days where I come back to leave a little note that I've been here. This time it's about that daily practice I started last year. It's done!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashleycoppolinophotography/sets/72157631999850622/

Just like the first time I finished the project, a sense of accomplishment is in me. I have done it, not once, but now twice.
It's not about the photos because it's actually about being consistent and showing dedication to my work. It doesn't matter if they're good or bad photos. I'm content with six really great photos that three hundred sixty-seven mediocre ones.

That's all,

ashleycoppolino

hello, hello.

Hello, hello.
It's been a while since I last posted.
I'd like to keep this blog updated with art related activities, but I haven't been involved with much recently. I've been working like crazy ever since school let out.
Yesterday I had a photo shoot with a friend of mine, Blake.
I haven't done one, aside from joking around with a friend or two, in nearly a year.
Like I've said numerous times, I lost my love for photography. The important lesson I learned is that if you lose something, there's a possibility you can find it again. My love/hate relationship with photography is never ending.
Anywho, here's what I'm doing to these photos from yesterday:

I find that showing the before and after of manipulated photos is rather interesting. I wanted to share with people who may find this interesting as well.

Ok. I'll post again when I do something art related.

-ashleycoppolino

Being welcomed back to high school

Tomorrow is the Alumni Panel at the high school. I was chosen amongst approximately 320 kids that I graduated with to come back and speak about college.
I questioned why I was chosen. I wasn't "invisible" in high school, but I also wasn't on the top of the cheer team's pyramid. When my name was spoken, I was 99% of the time associated with photography. So I guess it was a shock to some to find out that I didn't pursue that in college. From what I know, I'm the only one on the panel that went to a community college.
Look at me, though. I had such right goals for myself and was on the right path. Of course I was expected to "go far in life". Instead, I made my way through school & only applied to two schools & one being Nassau. Then during my firs week of Nassau I realized that I needed to leave. So I applied to Marymount in Manhattan and got accepted. Now I feel like I'm back on track. I basically started the college search a year late & am now behind on a semester of school that I'll haw to make up in summer or winter courses.
They basically called me back because I'm a lesson for fellow students and can show my story as motivation for other students to take the college decision making seriously.
It was the subtle way of saying I fucked up in high school.

-ashleycoppolino

Visiting STAC

I'm extremely happy I went to visit the high school today. I missed Cestari immensely, so I'm happy we got to catch up and whatnot. Aside from her, there was no one else I wanted to see but Luke & STAC.
When I was about to graduate, I was worried about how much I'd miss STAC. Coming back today made me realize something important; moving on is an amazing feeling. Although I left my best friends in STAC and I left great memories there, my time is over. It felt like an "over staying my welcome" situation. I felt like I didn't fit. I liked it. I've moved on. STAC has totally helped me for my future and I don't regret one day, so it's cool to see how life just goes on and how something that heavily impacted me will heavily impact other people.
I don't really know where I was going with this, but I wanted to say that it was nice seeing everyone today.

Until we met again...


-ashleycoppolino

another daily practice

I started a 366.
You're probably thinking, "why must she choose 366? It's 365. She's trying to be original."
But you're wrong. If you weren't thinking that, disregard the following attitude.
I chose 366 because I want it to be more than just one year. Yes, that one day makes a difference to me.
I started on November 11, 2012, which was my last day of being 17. I will continue it until the day I turn 19.
There's more to it than just a year of my life.
Last time I completed a 365, it was to prove to myself that photography is my passion, but it was mostly to see how things change.
I'm 18 now, and I need to start making constructive decisions that will lead to my successful future. I don't doubt that my dreams will come true, because I believe in them too much. So this is my 18-year-old life. A lot is going to change, I know it. I start school on the Upper East Side in January & that in itself will be a huge change. I want to break my comfort barrier and do things I wouldn't normally do.
You can see it for yourself: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashleycoppolinophotography/sets/72157631999850622/

-ashleycoppolino

Charlotte

I met Charlotte today. Charlotte, a 54-year-old woman on line with her husband waiting to get in to ABC's Live With Kelly & Michael show. While waiting on the two hour line, Charlotte turned to me and started a conversation. Somehow, it led to how she has two children: a daughter who is a freshman at RI State & a son who is a sophomore at Penn State.
Our conversations scattered from teen parties to snooki's boobs. She was genuinely good company. I continued to tell her the exciting news about attending school in Manhattan that eventually led to how I have the goal of working in television. She was so interested and looked at me like I had a purpose. I never saw someone look at me like that.
She said I am going to make it far in life and that I'm on the right path. She wanted me to thank my parents for raising a wonderful daughter. She was proud that I have a head on my shoulders and I make good decisions.
"What's your last name?"
"Coppolino."
"Ok, Ashley Coppolino. I'll remember that and I'll look for you in the credits of movie and television shows. You'll be there, I promise."

We were led into the studio and placed in our seats. The best part about the front row all the way to the wall is that the staff hangs out there. Charlotte was a few seats over from me but kept smiling as if she were a close friend. I turned away and no more than ten minutes later, I see Charlotte talking to the stage manager.
"She's dedicated! She's been dreaming of a job in this field! Sir, I wouldn't just recommend a stranger!"
She then pointed to me.
For some reason, Charlotte has had this crazy impact on me. I went to this same studio a few weeks prior and my mom was trying to get me a job as well, but Charlotte was different. I just met her and she completely understood me.
She hugged me goodbye as she was heading back to Pittsburgh.
"Ashley Coppolino, I'll listen for your name when you're nominated for a Grammy!"
Thank you, Charlotte. If I ever have the pleasure of seeing you again, I'd thank you in person.

-ashleycoppolino

hello there-

I didn't exactly know why I hit "new post" on this blog, but I did anyways. Here I am typing, and I'm not going to stop now.

I guess life has taken its toll on me. I'm definitely not a happy person right now, despite how I may pretend.

College sucks. I need to get out of this one and into another one.

I'm not posting because I want pity, that's not even close.

I'm posting because I realize that I should have had my shit together before I graduated high school. I can try to wag my finger in front of your faces and say "don't screw up, blah blah blah" "don't do what i did, blah blah blah" but that would go in one ear and out the other.

I haven't done art lately, which is my biggest regret.

That's the reason I got on blogger anyways. I wanted to see what you STACies were up to. Looks fun.

I miss it. 

Anyways, I'm going to go back to being a college student and write my paper.

p.s.: i'm not an ex-stacie, let's get that clear. i'm a stalumni. ok? good.

-ashleycoppolino

Collage.. College.. Ugh.

I'm collaging my way to college. I think that's a good way to put it. The whole end of the year thing is bugging my brain, so I collage. Collages are a visual representation of how my mind works.

I started with the above. I basically ran through the STAC room after everyone left and collected what I could find and decided to make a mess out of my living room floor. It was all out of anger.

I took ideas away, I kind of contemplated it a lot. But I went with the, "get shit done" attitude.



This is the end product. I tackled a 24x36 piece in a day. Minor details were added a few days later. But this is it. It turned into a search for identity I believe so. I'm proud of it, despite all the hidden anger I involved somehow.

On the last day I worked on this, we ordered Chinese food in STAC. I love fortune cookies, so ofcourse, I cracked it open. It said, "We don't know who we are until we can see what we can do." My reaction: Holy Shit. It's my life. So I placed it on my favorite color, the teal, and I put it right above my favorite photograph. Ta da. Art.

A couple of days later, Luke gave me a canvas and told me to make a collage. He said, "when you look at a building, it looks like a box. When you look closer, it looks like a bunch of boxes. But when you look at a cathedrial, it has a shape. And when you get closer, it has amazing detail." Basically, something that looks one way when it's far, and has a different experience when it's closer. Ok, well..

I made this piece that I didn't like. I was basically doing it to satisfy Luke (sorry Luke), but I realized that that shouldn't be my reason for making art. I ripped it off the next day.

Here's the outcome. You see the newspaper and how it's ripped? That wasn't my intentions. The newspaper was originally towers and that's what I tried ripping off. But since I'm a professional glue sticker, it didn't want to get off at all. So I left it. I was angry, once again, and I was flipping through magazines with sizzors in hand picking random words. Luke said to stay away from words (which is my favorite part of collages, and although I love Luke's advice, it gives me two options.. his choice or the opposite. I chose the opposite). So the collage is mostly words and one visual that pretty much sums the whole thing up. I picked these five words, & coincidently and it formed a sentence. This was before I decided to look closer at the newspaper.

I was in my car with Courtney (my community) examining the piece I did out of anger, and she was looknig closely at the newspaper. We noticed a bunch of words such as: "exploding", "killing me", "criticism", "misunderstood", "lunatic", "wandered", "broken", "self-reference", "disrespectful", "screamed", and yes, "photography". The piece has my name all over it. We decided to box in the words.

In the end, I have completed Luke's task. You get a different feel for the piece when your far or close away.

I started a project at home now. I guess my art is all over the place. See what happens when you move the damn lens from your face? There's actually a world out there.


more to come.
-ashleycoppolino

My last project. Kiss it goodbye.

Let me just think.
My senior year.
I think everyone has thought about graduating, whether you're a freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior. My senior year flew by. I didn't expect that. I always said I wanted to get out of this hell hole, but I think I'm trying to bury myself here. Burying myself here would be the proper thing to do. That would mean that I would be stuck here forever. Deep inside that's what I want, or what I think I want. The truth is I'm scared. Graduating high school is a big step and I'm not ready. I feel like I've wasted my time. I didn't take advantage of what I should've, I didn't try hard. I just assumed everything would come easy, and it doesn't. Art was where I never had to try. And now, trying is killing me. Art is a combination of everything I love vs. everything I hate. If I tried harder, I would probably have been good at school, but I'm not, and I'm ok with that. If I was good at school that would mean that I followed the rules and I did what I was told, which is a total lack of creativity. I'm not saying that I'm the most creative person in the world, because I know I'm far from that, but I have a problem with rules, which is an issue with my power. Believe it or not, I'm powerless. I think I'm the one having a problem believing it. I always knew I was weak, and I just put a front up, which is the best acting I've ever done in my life.
I've been known as the photographer forever. I was nine years old sitting in a photo studio saying, "this is where I want to be for the rest of my life", but when you're young, you're juvenile and you are unaware of what it really means to grow up and to have a job, which is where I'm getting to. I'm really really close. When I was nine years old in that photo studio, I was a lot happier than I am right now; the constant flow of ideas and the time you had, is what kept you going. As a child, you think that anything you do is amazing. A simple  flower drawn with Crayola crayons turned you into an artist. Sure, thousands or trillions of kids have done that, but you were unaware. If you told a kid, "You're not original. You're not the only one doing this. Other people have done it better," I'll bet you my life that the kid will grow up hating what they do. We're still kids. I only have a limited amount of time to still say this, but I am most definitely still a kid. Telling me what I'm doing isn't good enough basically, it takes a toll on you. It killed my inspiration.
I'd like to take my fucking camera and toss the piece of shit out the window on the top floor of the Empire State Building. Everything I loved about photography has been stripped away. Between planned photo shoots, people I had to research, and the pressure to be better than I am, it all made me collapse. I will forever hate the people who did this to me. The sad part is that they're the closest people in my life and I don't think I'll ever forgive them. I was shoved behind a lens. I always liked to put myself there, but I got shoved once, then again, then again, then again, then again, then again, then again, and yes, again.
No research, no studying. No looking up how to do something, no listening to how it should be done. These are questions & problems that I can figure out. My art isn't produced for someone else's opinions. I've never worked like that. I did everything for myself. I knew it was a mistake to bring my collage to school. Honestly, how fucking dumb am I. It was perfect until it was commented on and criticized. I was satisfied with it and I considered it one of the best things I put together. Now I stepped into shit and got stuck with this as my last, final, supposed to be the best, supposed to be proud of, should be unforgettable, senior year, graduating year, project. My collage looks pretty shitty now since I stabbed it with a knife after school.
Yes, I'm angry. I'm angry at a lot of things. When I needed the guidance, I didn't get it. Now that I'm on my path, suddenly there are voices telling me to turn around. I don't need a map. If I wanted one, don't you think I would have photographed or collaged one by now?

Expect another post.

-ashleycoppolino

Wreck This Journal

I've wanted Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith for a while, but I finally bought it.
It's basically a book that tells you what to do and on each page is a different task. It will tell you to do things like rip pages out, scribble over the instructions, and stomp on it with your shoes.
I'm going to treat this like my daily practice. I will have the book with me at all times and I will try to complete it. One of my issues are organization and remembrance, whih probably explains my OCD and passion for photographing every moment of my life. But this book goes against both of my issues. That's why I'm excited to complete it.

I'm going to be documenting it.. Probably because I want to remember it. I'm a contradiction, I know.
Destroyingthejournal.tumblr.com

-ashleycoppolino

I need to have a post on Andy Warhol.

Andy Warhol.
The documentary clarified a lot that I didn't know about Warhol.
What I love about his work is that it's so distinct that you're able to tell right away that it's him. It also brings something that everyone has in their kitchen cabinet, like a can of Campbell's soup, and makes it art. Those are two of my three favorite things about art: distinct style and unintentional masterpieces.
The third thing I love about art is what we all know about me. I love photography.
I almost fell out of my chair when I realized that Andy Warhol is actually considered a photographer. His Marylin Monroe pieces were photographs. I don't know why it never hit me before. But when it hit me this week, it felt like a bus charged at my brain.
Andy Warhol has always been one of my favorite artists. In fact, one of my favorite quotes is one that he said: "The best thing about a picture is that it never changes, even when the people in it do." Only now did it just realize as I was typing his quote, it makes complete sense that he's a photographer.
The documentary was more of an eye-opener than I expected. I don't exactly know what I thought Warhol was before the film.

-ashleycoppolino

"i'd like my main course with a side salad, please."

As for my main project, I have joined with Andrew to make a movie. As I posted before, we drifted away from a music video, mostly because of me, but he willingly agreed to make some other sort of film.
The idea we constructed is basically a student gets bullied and loses it on everyone around him. He's thought to be crazy, and then he starts to believe it, but a girl convinces him that he's not crazy. It's underdeveloped, but that's what we have right now. We're writing the script currently, so I will update you on what goes on.
*****IF ANYONE WANTS TO ACT, LET ANDREW OR I KNOW! THANK YOU!*****

As for my side salad, with the end of the year approaching, we are in need of a STAC Montage. I decided that this would be a great thing to occupy my time. I actually love making slideshows, so this is perfect.

I'm going to take on two side salads (if I have the time). My idea is to take photographs and paint parts of the actual photo white. Then I will use my abstract designs to cover the photo. I love photography and I love dabbling in abstract designs, so I decided to mix the two together.

That's all for now. That's all for my senior year.

-ashleycoppolino

Independent (although not really) Project

Senior year is coming to an end. It's hitting me that every decision I make is final. No decision goes unheard right now in my life.

I was planning to make a music video to Remembering Sunday by All Time Low (no hate please), but I'm not going to. My reason for that is Remembering Sunday has been my go-to song for all rough situations in my life for the past five years. Making a music video whether I'm proud of it or not, would completely throw out the songs meaning to me. I don't want to change what is already perfect.

I decided that I'm going to tackle making a movie. I won't be doing it alone. Andrew and I are going to try to complete this together. Right now, all we know is that it is a movie. The rest will be written.

-ashleycoppolino

Enneagram Test - 2012 Version

Well, despite what I believe in myself, the survey that I answered honestly does not lie. Therefore, I am bound to believe that I am Type 6. With consideration of the wings, I would be a 6w5.

Being a 6 pretty much focuses on the fact that my anxiety is high. This I know. What I do not know is why now? Two years ago, when my anxiety was worse than it is now, I scored Type 8. Type 8 is like what I am now: the "take charge because they don't want to be controlled" type. I believe most of you will agree with me. If anyone agrees on my Type 6 title, let me know. I'm pretty eager to know why.

My guess is that it's my mental state at the moment. There's too much going on in my life right now that has me on edge, which definitely kicked up my anxiety.

Have a good night. Hopefully I see you all tomorrow.

-ashleycoppolino

Q3 Individual Written

I’ve been in the photography workshop for the past couple of weeks now. I didn’t want to be in it, but then again, I didn’t know what other intensive I’d belong to. So, I took on the photography with as much passion as possible.

Elisa, Michelle, Matt, Anika, and I were given the necessities to work. The necessities consisted of: flash unit (three lights, the power pack, a grid, a soft box, and two umbrellas), two stands, remote flash triggers, a backdrop, and Luke’s Canon 20D. I’ve never actually done studio work, so this was new to me too. I did know the techniques we used. Below is a photo of Jei where half his face is lit and the other half is in shadow. To set up this shot, the camera is placed in front of Jei with the light directly to his left. This style is called split/hatchet lighting. It’s more commonly shot on males, but it happens to be my favorite for anyone.

The first few days with the set-up, we focused mainly on lighting, but as we were getting used to it, we lost it along the way. We started to become preoccupied with personality. There’s a huge difference between a good photo and a bad photo. A good photo has good lighting and personality as two major components, as a bad photo lacks those two qualities. Below (photo on top), you could see how the lighting was off and basically how the photographer kept clicking the button without any thought of positioning the lights or making the background and subject look good. To the right you can see how the background is perfectly black, the light was positioned specifically for this shot, and you are still able to get a personality for the subject. For the shot shown on the bottom below, we placed the grid over the light, which is used to diffuse the light so it’s not as harsh. The diffuser gives the photograph a softer feel and reduces the chance of “washing/blowing out” the subject. We use the term “washing/blowing out” for when the light is too harsh and eliminates the skin tone making the photo white washed.

After using the photo techniques we’ve learned with the lights for our photo intensive, a few of us decided to make our individual project based around natural light. I’ve battled with photography a lot recently, mostly because I feel my passion drifting away from me, but doing photography outside the studio reminded me why I love it so much. You’re given the ability to freely walk around with a camera, which opens possibilities rather than being stuck with an artificial light within four walls. We also used color, which changes the factors. I feel that when you use black and white, you have no choice but to capture the personality, as apposed to color where you capture fashion, location and a smaller percentage of personality.

I used my friend, Jaclyn, as the model for the “rebel out of school” theme. Don’t be fooled by the good photos we decided to display, because we did end up getting photos with harsh light such as the one on the top (shown below) and photos with not enough light on the face, like the one on the bottom (shown below).

Michelle did the photoshopping on the final four photos. I don’t have a copy of photoshop, so my skills were limited when it came to editing. Photoshop can take practically any photo and transform it into a masterpiece. The top (shown below) is the before and the bottom (shown below) is the after. Michelle photoshopped the strands of hair that were in the way, she dyed the roots of the hair back to red, she removed all blemishes to the skin, she reconstructed the corner of the eye to delete a red shape, added the effect to make her skin look like pearl, and saturated the photo to enhance the overall shot.

-ashleycoppolino

expressing the meaning of expressionism

Expressionism is definitely a dark form of art. It loses all the perfect beauty that is always wanted by artists, but it gives a new beauty. This beauty isn't made with perfect harmonies, in fact, expressionist music loses its melody and key, making notes into a background sound that is gorgeous in its own category.

What I love about expressionist art is that it's all raw emotions conveyed into all art disciplines. I never actually labeled what I like, but I can

definitely see a pattern that I do like expressionist art. I know that expressionist photography is just as brutal as all other forms of expressionist art.

The most famous and recognizable expressionist piece is "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.

The root of the word expressionism is expression. It is clear of the expression shown in "The Scream".

Although Dianne Arbus isn't categorized under expressionist, she was definitely an expressionist photographer. She took photos of people that are ugly or surreal. She was basically known as the "photographer of freaks". She photographed what people didn't want to see.. but that's what made her famous and in her own style. It's clear to see the emotion/expression in her photos.

new project: jei & i.

STAC Live is vastly approaching, which means all preparation must be getting done.

My big thing in STAC was photography. I don't like how I use the term was, but it seems to be the best way to explain this. I have been lacking on my photography. I barely carry my camera around. And by barely, I mean that I never do. I don't even bring it to parties. It basically has a permanent spot on my shelf.

But I do have my iPhone. Strange enough, I haven't lost touch with photography. Right now, over the last three months, i have about 1,500 photos on my phone. I edit a bunch of them, just as if i took photos on my camera and edited them on my computer. My phone is more accessible and faster. Ergo, here's where my iPhone photography kicked in.

Luke noticed it, since I posted it on Facebook, and I've been getting positive feedback on it. I was looking forward to making commercials, but Luke decided to give me a different assignment: a slideshow for STAC Live. This is where Jei comes in. Jei has the ability to play instruments and make amazing music. But Jei never composed/wrote his own pieces. Here's the assignment: a slideshow with my iPhone photography and Jei's own music.

I'm pretty excited and hope all goes well. It's cool that I can have my pictures displayed and Jei's music played. Can't wait!

-ashleycoppolino

Stressed

I'm stressed. I seem to be on edge with everything I put my hands on. I take on way too much and I act like it's ok, but sometimes it's not.
Lately, my mind has been jumping out of control. I could be holding a conversation and be thinking about something else. I could be working on a project and be sorting out another one in my head. My concentration is totally off lately, so I apologize.
I don't even have the time to be writing this, because schoolwork has consumed my life.
I've been trying to deal with my conflicts as best as possible, but it seems as one problem begins to clear, another problem bursts. I know I take on too much, but being busy keeps me out of trouble, which is what I like an need.
I've looked back on my blogs and it looks like I've talked about stress before. Just like I said in the past: breathe.. In, out, in, out.

-ashleycoppolino