Charlotte

I met Charlotte today. Charlotte, a 54-year-old woman on line with her husband waiting to get in to ABC's Live With Kelly & Michael show. While waiting on the two hour line, Charlotte turned to me and started a conversation. Somehow, it led to how she has two children: a daughter who is a freshman at RI State & a son who is a sophomore at Penn State.
Our conversations scattered from teen parties to snooki's boobs. She was genuinely good company. I continued to tell her the exciting news about attending school in Manhattan that eventually led to how I have the goal of working in television. She was so interested and looked at me like I had a purpose. I never saw someone look at me like that.
She said I am going to make it far in life and that I'm on the right path. She wanted me to thank my parents for raising a wonderful daughter. She was proud that I have a head on my shoulders and I make good decisions.
"What's your last name?"
"Coppolino."
"Ok, Ashley Coppolino. I'll remember that and I'll look for you in the credits of movie and television shows. You'll be there, I promise."

We were led into the studio and placed in our seats. The best part about the front row all the way to the wall is that the staff hangs out there. Charlotte was a few seats over from me but kept smiling as if she were a close friend. I turned away and no more than ten minutes later, I see Charlotte talking to the stage manager.
"She's dedicated! She's been dreaming of a job in this field! Sir, I wouldn't just recommend a stranger!"
She then pointed to me.
For some reason, Charlotte has had this crazy impact on me. I went to this same studio a few weeks prior and my mom was trying to get me a job as well, but Charlotte was different. I just met her and she completely understood me.
She hugged me goodbye as she was heading back to Pittsburgh.
"Ashley Coppolino, I'll listen for your name when you're nominated for a Grammy!"
Thank you, Charlotte. If I ever have the pleasure of seeing you again, I'd thank you in person.

-ashleycoppolino

hello there-

I didn't exactly know why I hit "new post" on this blog, but I did anyways. Here I am typing, and I'm not going to stop now.

I guess life has taken its toll on me. I'm definitely not a happy person right now, despite how I may pretend.

College sucks. I need to get out of this one and into another one.

I'm not posting because I want pity, that's not even close.

I'm posting because I realize that I should have had my shit together before I graduated high school. I can try to wag my finger in front of your faces and say "don't screw up, blah blah blah" "don't do what i did, blah blah blah" but that would go in one ear and out the other.

I haven't done art lately, which is my biggest regret.

That's the reason I got on blogger anyways. I wanted to see what you STACies were up to. Looks fun.

I miss it. 

Anyways, I'm going to go back to being a college student and write my paper.

p.s.: i'm not an ex-stacie, let's get that clear. i'm a stalumni. ok? good.

-ashleycoppolino

Collage.. College.. Ugh.

I'm collaging my way to college. I think that's a good way to put it. The whole end of the year thing is bugging my brain, so I collage. Collages are a visual representation of how my mind works.

I started with the above. I basically ran through the STAC room after everyone left and collected what I could find and decided to make a mess out of my living room floor. It was all out of anger.

I took ideas away, I kind of contemplated it a lot. But I went with the, "get shit done" attitude.



This is the end product. I tackled a 24x36 piece in a day. Minor details were added a few days later. But this is it. It turned into a search for identity I believe so. I'm proud of it, despite all the hidden anger I involved somehow.

On the last day I worked on this, we ordered Chinese food in STAC. I love fortune cookies, so ofcourse, I cracked it open. It said, "We don't know who we are until we can see what we can do." My reaction: Holy Shit. It's my life. So I placed it on my favorite color, the teal, and I put it right above my favorite photograph. Ta da. Art.

A couple of days later, Luke gave me a canvas and told me to make a collage. He said, "when you look at a building, it looks like a box. When you look closer, it looks like a bunch of boxes. But when you look at a cathedrial, it has a shape. And when you get closer, it has amazing detail." Basically, something that looks one way when it's far, and has a different experience when it's closer. Ok, well..

I made this piece that I didn't like. I was basically doing it to satisfy Luke (sorry Luke), but I realized that that shouldn't be my reason for making art. I ripped it off the next day.

Here's the outcome. You see the newspaper and how it's ripped? That wasn't my intentions. The newspaper was originally towers and that's what I tried ripping off. But since I'm a professional glue sticker, it didn't want to get off at all. So I left it. I was angry, once again, and I was flipping through magazines with sizzors in hand picking random words. Luke said to stay away from words (which is my favorite part of collages, and although I love Luke's advice, it gives me two options.. his choice or the opposite. I chose the opposite). So the collage is mostly words and one visual that pretty much sums the whole thing up. I picked these five words, & coincidently and it formed a sentence. This was before I decided to look closer at the newspaper.

I was in my car with Courtney (my community) examining the piece I did out of anger, and she was looknig closely at the newspaper. We noticed a bunch of words such as: "exploding", "killing me", "criticism", "misunderstood", "lunatic", "wandered", "broken", "self-reference", "disrespectful", "screamed", and yes, "photography". The piece has my name all over it. We decided to box in the words.

In the end, I have completed Luke's task. You get a different feel for the piece when your far or close away.

I started a project at home now. I guess my art is all over the place. See what happens when you move the damn lens from your face? There's actually a world out there.


more to come.
-ashleycoppolino

My last project. Kiss it goodbye.

Let me just think.
My senior year.
I think everyone has thought about graduating, whether you're a freshman, sophomore, junior, or senior. My senior year flew by. I didn't expect that. I always said I wanted to get out of this hell hole, but I think I'm trying to bury myself here. Burying myself here would be the proper thing to do. That would mean that I would be stuck here forever. Deep inside that's what I want, or what I think I want. The truth is I'm scared. Graduating high school is a big step and I'm not ready. I feel like I've wasted my time. I didn't take advantage of what I should've, I didn't try hard. I just assumed everything would come easy, and it doesn't. Art was where I never had to try. And now, trying is killing me. Art is a combination of everything I love vs. everything I hate. If I tried harder, I would probably have been good at school, but I'm not, and I'm ok with that. If I was good at school that would mean that I followed the rules and I did what I was told, which is a total lack of creativity. I'm not saying that I'm the most creative person in the world, because I know I'm far from that, but I have a problem with rules, which is an issue with my power. Believe it or not, I'm powerless. I think I'm the one having a problem believing it. I always knew I was weak, and I just put a front up, which is the best acting I've ever done in my life.
I've been known as the photographer forever. I was nine years old sitting in a photo studio saying, "this is where I want to be for the rest of my life", but when you're young, you're juvenile and you are unaware of what it really means to grow up and to have a job, which is where I'm getting to. I'm really really close. When I was nine years old in that photo studio, I was a lot happier than I am right now; the constant flow of ideas and the time you had, is what kept you going. As a child, you think that anything you do is amazing. A simple  flower drawn with Crayola crayons turned you into an artist. Sure, thousands or trillions of kids have done that, but you were unaware. If you told a kid, "You're not original. You're not the only one doing this. Other people have done it better," I'll bet you my life that the kid will grow up hating what they do. We're still kids. I only have a limited amount of time to still say this, but I am most definitely still a kid. Telling me what I'm doing isn't good enough basically, it takes a toll on you. It killed my inspiration.
I'd like to take my fucking camera and toss the piece of shit out the window on the top floor of the Empire State Building. Everything I loved about photography has been stripped away. Between planned photo shoots, people I had to research, and the pressure to be better than I am, it all made me collapse. I will forever hate the people who did this to me. The sad part is that they're the closest people in my life and I don't think I'll ever forgive them. I was shoved behind a lens. I always liked to put myself there, but I got shoved once, then again, then again, then again, then again, then again, then again, and yes, again.
No research, no studying. No looking up how to do something, no listening to how it should be done. These are questions & problems that I can figure out. My art isn't produced for someone else's opinions. I've never worked like that. I did everything for myself. I knew it was a mistake to bring my collage to school. Honestly, how fucking dumb am I. It was perfect until it was commented on and criticized. I was satisfied with it and I considered it one of the best things I put together. Now I stepped into shit and got stuck with this as my last, final, supposed to be the best, supposed to be proud of, should be unforgettable, senior year, graduating year, project. My collage looks pretty shitty now since I stabbed it with a knife after school.
Yes, I'm angry. I'm angry at a lot of things. When I needed the guidance, I didn't get it. Now that I'm on my path, suddenly there are voices telling me to turn around. I don't need a map. If I wanted one, don't you think I would have photographed or collaged one by now?

Expect another post.

-ashleycoppolino

Wreck This Journal

I've wanted Wreck This Journal by Keri Smith for a while, but I finally bought it.
It's basically a book that tells you what to do and on each page is a different task. It will tell you to do things like rip pages out, scribble over the instructions, and stomp on it with your shoes.
I'm going to treat this like my daily practice. I will have the book with me at all times and I will try to complete it. One of my issues are organization and remembrance, whih probably explains my OCD and passion for photographing every moment of my life. But this book goes against both of my issues. That's why I'm excited to complete it.

I'm going to be documenting it.. Probably because I want to remember it. I'm a contradiction, I know.
Destroyingthejournal.tumblr.com

-ashleycoppolino

I need to have a post on Andy Warhol.

Andy Warhol.
The documentary clarified a lot that I didn't know about Warhol.
What I love about his work is that it's so distinct that you're able to tell right away that it's him. It also brings something that everyone has in their kitchen cabinet, like a can of Campbell's soup, and makes it art. Those are two of my three favorite things about art: distinct style and unintentional masterpieces.
The third thing I love about art is what we all know about me. I love photography.
I almost fell out of my chair when I realized that Andy Warhol is actually considered a photographer. His Marylin Monroe pieces were photographs. I don't know why it never hit me before. But when it hit me this week, it felt like a bus charged at my brain.
Andy Warhol has always been one of my favorite artists. In fact, one of my favorite quotes is one that he said: "The best thing about a picture is that it never changes, even when the people in it do." Only now did it just realize as I was typing his quote, it makes complete sense that he's a photographer.
The documentary was more of an eye-opener than I expected. I don't exactly know what I thought Warhol was before the film.

-ashleycoppolino

"i'd like my main course with a side salad, please."

As for my main project, I have joined with Andrew to make a movie. As I posted before, we drifted away from a music video, mostly because of me, but he willingly agreed to make some other sort of film.
The idea we constructed is basically a student gets bullied and loses it on everyone around him. He's thought to be crazy, and then he starts to believe it, but a girl convinces him that he's not crazy. It's underdeveloped, but that's what we have right now. We're writing the script currently, so I will update you on what goes on.
*****IF ANYONE WANTS TO ACT, LET ANDREW OR I KNOW! THANK YOU!*****

As for my side salad, with the end of the year approaching, we are in need of a STAC Montage. I decided that this would be a great thing to occupy my time. I actually love making slideshows, so this is perfect.

I'm going to take on two side salads (if I have the time). My idea is to take photographs and paint parts of the actual photo white. Then I will use my abstract designs to cover the photo. I love photography and I love dabbling in abstract designs, so I decided to mix the two together.

That's all for now. That's all for my senior year.

-ashleycoppolino