Core Values and Issues in Time

issues:

-communication

-hearing, but not seeing

-voice

-explination

core values:

-color

-emotions

~expression of one's self

-accomplishment

~feeling of being able to move on

~feeling of completion

While doing this activity in class, I had this whole thing going on in my head. I say 'thing' because it was so above and beyond where I began, that I didn't know what to say, which left me speechless.

As for core values, I figured my major core value would be color. Color is so important to me, I’m not exactly sure why color was the first thing to pop in my mind. But then I looked back, and realized that I was amazed by the color theory, and still am! Color has this powerful way to win me over, just the contrast between light and dark, and everything in between in every shade of color, it all just amazes me. Someone pointed out that color might be the reason I like photography so much. Grasping the colors in a photograph could be important to me, and I came to think of it, that color is important to me in photographs. Photography also doesn't have what my issues are. There is no communication in a still life photo. The explination does not have to be communicated, because it is visible. I recently redesigned my room to have every item black and white, with yellow walls. When I thought about color and how it’s important to me, I thought of my room. If everything is black and white, opposite in colors, imagine how the yellow looks. It stands out, and the yellow stands for itself and balances between the black and the white. This whole idea was just mind blowing. It’s like things happen for a reason. I didn’t choose to design my room this way because my favorite color was yellow; I designed it this way because of the theory behind color that completely fascinates me.

One table I was sitting at started a conversation about time. Time has everything in its hands. In order to do something, you need time. Doing a crime, such as killing a person is unlawful because you’re taking someone’s time away. It takes time to grow up and discover your issues. It takes time for each day to pass, and the sun to rise the next morning. You have lived in the past, currently live in the present, and you are going to live in the future, and all three time periods are based upon time! If there was no time, there would be no past, present, or future. What are you without your past or even your present? There would be nothing to learn, nothing to look forward to, nothing to do while trying to pass the time to go into the future! This whole idea of time controlling everything was mind-blowing and I still can’t believe what we spoke about today, it’s just so overwhelming and mind-blowing that I can’t get over it all! Time really had me thinking about what I’m living for. I can’t live for the past, because that time is over, but I could live in the present and live for the future. But if you think about it, how do you measure time? In seconds, minutes, days, years? How do you measure the present time? Time goes by so quickly, that there isn’t even a moment to say you’re living in the present because you are constantly living in the future, and you wouldn’t even know it without time. You can’t even say something like, ‘see you later’ because without time, there would be no ‘earlier’ to compare it to. You wouldn’t be able to say something is quick or takes forever, because you can’t compare the two without having a sense of time. Time also runs along the line of my liking of photography. Photos are a moment frozen in time. There really is not sense of time if it's frozen, but you know it's there because you can't eliminate time. It will always be there, working with you or against you. Do you get it?

I hope that all made sense. If you didn't notice, one of my issues is explination. It's so hard to do, and not explaining makes art so much more intriguing.

I don’t even know how to conclude this blog, it was all just too amazing to not blog about.

sincerely yours,

ashley coppolino

Out With The Old, In With The New

STAC Live!

It was a tough crowd for most of it, not going to lie.

Off-track for one moment...

Well, my New Years resolution was bold optimism. It was to try new things and for me to not be afraid anymore.

I got up optionally to go on stage for the first time in my life. My rosacea probably kicked in, but no one could tell because of those lights.

I kind of liked it. It was weird. I never, never, never would put myself on stage in front of a crowd. But because of my resolution, I did.

My first improv was better than my second, I'm not sure why, but it just happened that way. Actually, that's a lie. I think I do know why it happened like that. I saw one specific person in the crowd during my second improv. Any who, it was all still new to me, so I'm sure if I did it again, I'd get the hang of it, and maybe my rosacea won't be visible during public speaking anymore.

But it was weird, because once I got up there, and the fidgeting stopped, I wasn't nervous and the words flowed out of my mouth very easily. I got compliments from an ex-STACie that I never spoke to in my life before. I got this feeling that I could be invincible. I saw my friends after school, and they were like, "I didn't know you were funny!" and "Who knew Ashley could act!" 'Compliments' like that. They were secretly in the crowd during my first improv, and they even recorded it, that's how funny they thought I was. But I got this weird vibe that they meant a different kind of funny. Like, not laughing about what I was saying, but just laughing at me. So I thought about it all. They've known me for about five years, and didn't know what I was capable of? Really? So, I took what they were saying, and it kind of pissed me off.

I'm going to backtrack a little bit here.

The whole friends situation, ugh. When I forgave them, it still bothered me everyday, and I acted as if it didn't. But I swore to myself to never trust them as I did, because for all of them to turn on me that quick means that they're not true friends.

Guess what happened yesterday. A repeat of the fight, but it's different this time. I won't forgive them. I don't care about them this time.

I know I'm foolish for saying I don't care, because I obviously do, but I don't want to care. That's the thing.

It was through text messages. First of all, text messaging has ruined relationships between people, it has to be a fact. Texts are constantly misunderstood. You can't express your feeling through a text, no matter how many haha's or aw's you include. It just won't happen.

She mentioned, "Actually, it was like you were never my friend after out last fight." I told her, "My acting skills got better since I joined STAC." She was speechless for fifteen minutes. Take note, she isn't a fan of STAC.

But the thing about this specific friend, her texts come out very sarcastic. So when the fighting became intense, I used her sarcastic one-word responses she texts me all the time, and her response was, "you're unbelievable." and my last response to her was, "You just proved my point on how difficult it is to deal with someone like you." And that's it of our friendship. For good.

Quote of the day: "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live." -Dorothy Thompson

The girl who won't change for anyone but herself,

ashleycoppolino