Enneagram Test - 2012 Version

Well, despite what I believe in myself, the survey that I answered honestly does not lie. Therefore, I am bound to believe that I am Type 6. With consideration of the wings, I would be a 6w5.

Being a 6 pretty much focuses on the fact that my anxiety is high. This I know. What I do not know is why now? Two years ago, when my anxiety was worse than it is now, I scored Type 8. Type 8 is like what I am now: the "take charge because they don't want to be controlled" type. I believe most of you will agree with me. If anyone agrees on my Type 6 title, let me know. I'm pretty eager to know why.

My guess is that it's my mental state at the moment. There's too much going on in my life right now that has me on edge, which definitely kicked up my anxiety.

Have a good night. Hopefully I see you all tomorrow.

-ashleycoppolino

Q3 Individual Written

I’ve been in the photography workshop for the past couple of weeks now. I didn’t want to be in it, but then again, I didn’t know what other intensive I’d belong to. So, I took on the photography with as much passion as possible.

Elisa, Michelle, Matt, Anika, and I were given the necessities to work. The necessities consisted of: flash unit (three lights, the power pack, a grid, a soft box, and two umbrellas), two stands, remote flash triggers, a backdrop, and Luke’s Canon 20D. I’ve never actually done studio work, so this was new to me too. I did know the techniques we used. Below is a photo of Jei where half his face is lit and the other half is in shadow. To set up this shot, the camera is placed in front of Jei with the light directly to his left. This style is called split/hatchet lighting. It’s more commonly shot on males, but it happens to be my favorite for anyone.

The first few days with the set-up, we focused mainly on lighting, but as we were getting used to it, we lost it along the way. We started to become preoccupied with personality. There’s a huge difference between a good photo and a bad photo. A good photo has good lighting and personality as two major components, as a bad photo lacks those two qualities. Below (photo on top), you could see how the lighting was off and basically how the photographer kept clicking the button without any thought of positioning the lights or making the background and subject look good. To the right you can see how the background is perfectly black, the light was positioned specifically for this shot, and you are still able to get a personality for the subject. For the shot shown on the bottom below, we placed the grid over the light, which is used to diffuse the light so it’s not as harsh. The diffuser gives the photograph a softer feel and reduces the chance of “washing/blowing out” the subject. We use the term “washing/blowing out” for when the light is too harsh and eliminates the skin tone making the photo white washed.

After using the photo techniques we’ve learned with the lights for our photo intensive, a few of us decided to make our individual project based around natural light. I’ve battled with photography a lot recently, mostly because I feel my passion drifting away from me, but doing photography outside the studio reminded me why I love it so much. You’re given the ability to freely walk around with a camera, which opens possibilities rather than being stuck with an artificial light within four walls. We also used color, which changes the factors. I feel that when you use black and white, you have no choice but to capture the personality, as apposed to color where you capture fashion, location and a smaller percentage of personality.

I used my friend, Jaclyn, as the model for the “rebel out of school” theme. Don’t be fooled by the good photos we decided to display, because we did end up getting photos with harsh light such as the one on the top (shown below) and photos with not enough light on the face, like the one on the bottom (shown below).

Michelle did the photoshopping on the final four photos. I don’t have a copy of photoshop, so my skills were limited when it came to editing. Photoshop can take practically any photo and transform it into a masterpiece. The top (shown below) is the before and the bottom (shown below) is the after. Michelle photoshopped the strands of hair that were in the way, she dyed the roots of the hair back to red, she removed all blemishes to the skin, she reconstructed the corner of the eye to delete a red shape, added the effect to make her skin look like pearl, and saturated the photo to enhance the overall shot.

-ashleycoppolino

expressing the meaning of expressionism

Expressionism is definitely a dark form of art. It loses all the perfect beauty that is always wanted by artists, but it gives a new beauty. This beauty isn't made with perfect harmonies, in fact, expressionist music loses its melody and key, making notes into a background sound that is gorgeous in its own category.

What I love about expressionist art is that it's all raw emotions conveyed into all art disciplines. I never actually labeled what I like, but I can

definitely see a pattern that I do like expressionist art. I know that expressionist photography is just as brutal as all other forms of expressionist art.

The most famous and recognizable expressionist piece is "The Scream" by Edvard Munch.

The root of the word expressionism is expression. It is clear of the expression shown in "The Scream".

Although Dianne Arbus isn't categorized under expressionist, she was definitely an expressionist photographer. She took photos of people that are ugly or surreal. She was basically known as the "photographer of freaks". She photographed what people didn't want to see.. but that's what made her famous and in her own style. It's clear to see the emotion/expression in her photos.

new project: jei & i.

STAC Live is vastly approaching, which means all preparation must be getting done.

My big thing in STAC was photography. I don't like how I use the term was, but it seems to be the best way to explain this. I have been lacking on my photography. I barely carry my camera around. And by barely, I mean that I never do. I don't even bring it to parties. It basically has a permanent spot on my shelf.

But I do have my iPhone. Strange enough, I haven't lost touch with photography. Right now, over the last three months, i have about 1,500 photos on my phone. I edit a bunch of them, just as if i took photos on my camera and edited them on my computer. My phone is more accessible and faster. Ergo, here's where my iPhone photography kicked in.

Luke noticed it, since I posted it on Facebook, and I've been getting positive feedback on it. I was looking forward to making commercials, but Luke decided to give me a different assignment: a slideshow for STAC Live. This is where Jei comes in. Jei has the ability to play instruments and make amazing music. But Jei never composed/wrote his own pieces. Here's the assignment: a slideshow with my iPhone photography and Jei's own music.

I'm pretty excited and hope all goes well. It's cool that I can have my pictures displayed and Jei's music played. Can't wait!

-ashleycoppolino

Stressed

I'm stressed. I seem to be on edge with everything I put my hands on. I take on way too much and I act like it's ok, but sometimes it's not.
Lately, my mind has been jumping out of control. I could be holding a conversation and be thinking about something else. I could be working on a project and be sorting out another one in my head. My concentration is totally off lately, so I apologize.
I don't even have the time to be writing this, because schoolwork has consumed my life.
I've been trying to deal with my conflicts as best as possible, but it seems as one problem begins to clear, another problem bursts. I know I take on too much, but being busy keeps me out of trouble, which is what I like an need.
I've looked back on my blogs and it looks like I've talked about stress before. Just like I said in the past: breathe.. In, out, in, out.

-ashleycoppolino

Senior Assignment: my take on it

I feel that it is necessary to blog about today.

This blog post is not meant to start conflict, but it is something I must post.

This assignment is my least favorite so far. It's obvious that I don't associate with my fellow seniors that much. Really, just Jon. Otherwise, I'm surrounded by STACies that are younger. I feel like I'm constantly put down and judged when I'm around the seniors, and that's not a feeling I need or want in my life. So I decided to exclude myself from it.

I have learned my limits, which I believe is something that STAC has taught me. I learned when I can't handle certain situations any longer, which is why I left the class today. I don't need to involve people in my personal drama, so I took it upon myself to quietly leave the class.

As some of you may know, I have major anxiety problems, which has worked against me in many ways. My heart was racing and my hands were shaking while listening to what people were saying, and I couldn't handle it. I know, you're not supposed to walk away when things get tough, but I know my limits, and if I stayed there, it would have gotten bad.

In my groups defense (Jon, Mile, Mairead), we had our plan for our presentation. This is longer-term assignment so we decided to take it further than improv, which seemed puzzling to the two other groups. We couldn't exactly explain our piece since we are incorporating music and film. We haven't written the script or chose the songs, so I can see how the other groups are confused by us. But don't shoot down our ideas and tell us that we wasted our time and that you realized things faster ergo we were falling behind. And as we were discussing today, somebody said, "I don't mean to offend you", which seemed like a fake act for the rest of STAC to me, because you knew I was offended already.

I am sincerely sorry to Jon, Mairead, & Mike because my reactions have negatively affected my group. I think what we did is brilliant and our ideas will turn put amazing. I will never put you down- it's very wrong. And I don't want to be put down. I don't want to be mocked in class. The senior girls sat on the computer looking at prom dresses as a serious problem was being addressed. So if you don't care, why should I. I am truly sorry to my group. But I don't think that I can handle this stress at this stage in my life.

And I don't want to get comments like, "this is life.", "this will happen in the future.", & "you have to get over it.". Because, truth is, I know what life is like. I'm living it. I've been in worse situations and experienced major conflicts in my life. My future will be stressful, as all of ours will be, but it will not be tolerated to be treated like this, I guarantee it. And I will get over it. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not Monday either, but I will eventually.

When I came back into the room all red-faced and obvious that I shed some tears, it meant a lot to me that Danny, Scott, Mairead, Grace, Michelle, Caitlin, and others came right to me to hug me & tell me that they're there for me. That's the type of people I need in my life. They're the reason that I come to class everyday, aside from doing art. But they influence my art. They help shape me into the type of person I am and the abilities I have in STAC.

-ashleycoppolino

Oh, acting.

I think I've made it fairly obvious that I don't like acting. But I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and experimenting with new disciplines. I'm a senior now, so this seems to be the year to do everything before my time runs out.

This specific lesson was comfortable for me. I may have mentioned it before, but anger is my best emotion as far as acting goes, I believe. I'm not scared to yell at somebody if I have to. And yes, it's acting, we're not actually yelling or punching people, but God, does it feel real when you're told to punch Scott La Marca then your Grandma. Punching Scott is easy. It's too natural, actually. Sorry, Scott! But you know I'm joking (usually)! But when a random person, like your Grandma is called, and then imagined right in front of your very eyes, I got weak. I'm never weak. I don't like the feeling, which is probably why my anger is so strong.

It was a pretty bad day for me. My guidance councilor basically lost all hope in me which pretty much tore me apart for the day. Instead of handling it like a good human being would, I got angry. I took screaming at the community center out on her. I poked her, slapped her, punched her repeatedly, and didn't feel sorry. I don't know what this says about my actual character, but as far as acting goes, I think I'm getting better.

In conclusion, acting is annoying. It screws with your head. It makes me over analyze this intricate situation when meanwhile I'm standing on a worn-down stage with no one as an audience. Your mind is fooled by words that seep through your ears and into your mind, that carries on to your exterior self, creating an illusion that makes you put on quite the performance.

Oh, acting.

-ashleycoppolino